Stoned Quotes!

[GoldenGopher]

^ wow thats worse than lighting a cig backwards

[deadhead]

I've watched someone attempt to light a lighter with the joint for 2 or 3 minutes

[smok3h]

I've watched someone attempt to light a lighter with the joint for 2 or 3 minutes

hahaha!

and SBG, that is fucking hilarious!! I am still laughing just picturing you doing that.

[Dr. Gonzo]

once i spent a few minutes trying to change the channel with my spoon pipe. except i had a computer and not a tv in the room

[itchy_bush]

This one is not quite a "stoned" quote, but it's close enough for me.
Summer had just started, and i had not done ANYTHING but smoke cigarettes for a long time.
after two nights of mostly drinking (a little bud here & there), i was talking to my friend at work.
I said something like this:
"I love summer! i'm gonna go hang out at Bill's tonight...Tonight will be the third night in a row that I will be have drunken."

[Hilikus]

Once this kid called the ignition of his car a "keyholder."

With a different friend...
Me: "Oh I like this lighter! When did you get it?"
Friend: "This lighter? I... uh... I been haded this lighter."

[Buddah_Lova]

Me: "Oh I like this lighter! When did you get it?"
Friend: "This lighter? I... uh... I been haded this lighter."

[Craze876]

Me : " Lets stay in the trees, it feels like Lord of the Flies in here"

Friend on a few mins later : "Holy Shit! My kitchen looks like a comic book"
I've never laughed so hard in my life

[skateboardinguy]

Last weekend i was chilling with some good friends and one other kid that i didn't know that well. As we're passing the bong/blunt around there was a brief moment of awkward silence. Then my friend breaks the silence by saying "Everytime there is an awkward silence a gay baby is born." I cracked the hell up when i heard him say that because the person, the one we didnt know, was gay. LOL i wanted to look his way when it was said but i resisted.

[InFlames511]

ight so this was a few weeks ago

me and two other friends (toto and andy) were smoking after school behind the oratory. there was also another group of people hanging out nearby. so we were getting pretty damn fucking high

andy : "Hey guys there's a dinosaur down there!" he said that trying to scare us
toto : "Holy shit, it's there, hide behind the tree" he says responding to the joke"
andy : "fuck, really??" and he starts freaking out and hides from the "dinosaur"

that made my day lmao

[Dr. Gonzo]

random hipster: "dude ashby bart is such a safe place. you can just buy weed from random people"

it's funny because the only reason he isn't getting robbed is because he's getting ripped off. if he doesn't just hand over all the money some guys see he has for some weed that isn't worth what he's paying they'll just beat the crap out of him and take it

i think talking to black people makes him feel special maybe