Alone in the Blue Ridge
Substances: Psilocybe cubensis
Hey folks. This weekend I learned some pretty big lessons. I went solo
hiking for three days in the blue ridge as a spiritual retreat. I really
wanted to be alone, and was planning on doing a potent ayahausca brew
on my last night.
I'm not sure if y'all have ever heard of the AMERICAN CHESTNUT tree before. But I ate my food sitting on a huge American Chestnut log. This is kinda special because Ameican Chestnut has been practically extinct for about 170 years, due to logging and the european "blight". It's got incredibly hard wood... harder than oak, and the logs i had been sitting on were probably 500 year old trees that had been dead for at least 170 years and not a bit of decay!! There were a few of these logs scattered about the ridgetop.
Anyway, instead of the ayahuasca i ended up adding a moderate dose of mushrooms to my tomato soup, and settled down by the fire to see what the mushrooms would have to say.
I got into it for a while, but there was this strange fear that kept crawling up:
There was a kinda weird guy who i met earlier in the day. He asked me some questions and knew i was camping alone. He didn't seem particularly threatening, and i wasn't exactly paranoid...it's just that the fact that i was so vulnerable kept entering my thougts and distracting me from the trip.
Anyway...i was thinking what i was doing was stupid...if i wanted to be alone, i should *really* be alone, and, what the hell do i really need to be alone for anyway? Does alone mean "having no access to other people at all? Is tripping with a sitter tripping alone?
Well, I decided that physical safety was the key...I knew there was another group of campers on the ridge, so i went to hang out with them at their fire. We had nice introductions...they were six men in their twenties who all worked at a VA beach restaurant together. I happily accepted a shot of southern comfort and a beer : )
After hanging our for a about an hour, some pretty stange stuff started happening. Out of nowhere, three dogs showed up. They each had florescent antenas on their collars. I thought, "hmmm cop dogs, or hunting dogs?". They were making little howling, growling noises at us, but they seemed like they wern't going to hurt us. Soon we heard they're owners near by.
We all thought that it was weird that the owners didn't show themselves, or say something like "don't worry, they won't bite!" I bummed a cigarette...my first tobacco in 2 years...whew...that hit the spot!
When we noticed the the lurking bodies increased in number (we noticed at least 4....), the guys, who were all alot more aggresive than I, stood poised to fight...walking sticks in hand. They even decided to do a little wood chooping with the big axe they had...i was pretty thankful for this show of power, and even though it's not my way, I took my turn ferociously swinging the axe! (i only build small fires, and would usually take to the darkness of the woods in such a case). These guys were my brothers...they comforted me from the fear i was having earlier and i felt devoted to stick by them no matter what happened. These guys acted so differently than how i would have acted, but i was still thankful. I was simultaneously dismayed and astounded when they threw a beautiful American Chestnut log on the fire! It was so appropriate somehow......
For awhile, we were all concerned about the strangers in the night, but soon enough, the dogs left, and we assumed that the mysterious owners were gone.
The rest of the night was really nice. I bonded in a special way with each one of those guys! It turned out that they had eaten some mushrooms the night before! None of them had much experience with entheogens, and they were amazed that i had been tripping through that whole experience. We all sat together and talked about philosopy, evolution, life and death. Everone there agreed that FAITH is the most important thing : )
This was overall a good experience. It's really weird though...this is the second time i have been threated *in real physical consensus reality* while on mushrooms. Is it possible that somehow the one kind of energy attracts the other?? The yin attracts the yang? The oppressed attracts it's oppressor??
More interestingly this has happened on the only two occasions i have ever tripped alone without a sitter or in a *completely* secure environment. I have tripped literally hundreds of times. When i met the man which my guardian angel inhabited down in North Carolina, he was sure the dominator energy is much more likely to "go after" you if you are alone and vulnerable. The woman who "saved" me also gave me the advice not to be alone, and to stay in the light. I *could* believe the theory that sometimes that fear overtakes me and i don't "let go" and allow my "self" to die...i could, that is, if there wasn't such tagible evidence that my physical body really could die...no...i will not let myself be raped by the dominater...if my cunning and strength cannot save me...grace will.
So anyway, after everyone went to bed, i stayed up for awhile making myself tea to keep my body warm....i had to get to go to the spring alone to get water...i figured if i could do this without fear, i would be able to sleep soon. I would wait till the old chestnut log burned down. It was such an interesting tea ceremony as i came down from my trip...gave me a whole new perspective on chopping wood and carrying water!
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